Mercedes Benz C63 AMG (2010)

I must admit, that I’m very worried about the motoring world. Not because Kia seem to be making better looking cars than BMW can muster up these days, or that Lamborghini reports it will be making an SUV…no no, this is much more disturbing.

Global warming and all that Al Gore propaganda seems to be taking its toll on the motoring fraternity the world over. GM and its Volt, Mitsubishi has put its hydrogen car on the market, and according to a recent report, sales of Hybrid cars have nearly doubled in the US, year on year.

I’m worried, that in a couple of years, I’m going to have to buy a car, that runs on water, and has a synthesizer in the “exhaust”, that I get to tune to different settings “V6, V8, Straight 6”…the list goes on. I’m sorry but if I prefer my cars burning fuel and emitting CO2. I want to hear a growl when I drive into an underground parking lot or feel the rumble through the pedals when I put my foot down. Or is that too much to ask? Apparently the polar bears floating on the only two ice-caps left, say, yes it is.

How does this relate to what I drove? Well, the Mercedes Benz C63 AMG makes long dark smoky stains at the feet of Al Gore and the ever-shrinking rainforests. And making those stains, are oh so easy as I found out.

The C63 is AMG’s overhaul of the C-Class. They are the muscle car equivalent of Extreme Makeover.  For starters, this is the first Mercedes that AMG designed from the ground up, lumped with a 6.3 litre naturally aspirated V8 developing 336Kw and 600NM of torque, it boasts a claimed 0-100km/h sprint time of 4.5 seconds and an electronically governed top speed of 250Km/h. This is all very impressive stuff for a car that can easily accommodate 4 adults and their baggage. But we’re not into that family jazz, so let me tell you what thrills…

The sound of that V8 is the most intoxicating sound I’ve ever heard. Things get all kind of Benoni when you stop at a traffic light. Car in Neutral, and drop the accelerator. People literally grab their children and run. Needless to say, doing this in an underground parking lot, or tunnel, leads to immediate orgasm.

The engine is pure, and mated to the “7 Speed AMG SPEEDSHIFT 7-Gtronic” transmission (I shit you not, that’s what they call it) 3 Modes for the gearbox (Comfort, Sport & Manual) Sport makes gear shifts 30% faster, and manual 50% faster than comfort. A nice touch, when in manual, (and it REALLY is manual) is there is no shifting up for you when you reach the limiter – what you get though is one very loud pop, red warning lights, and a binnacle full of “ACHTUNG – SHIFT UP”…very subtle.

This is what I love. A big burly V8, that guzzles petrol at a rate faster than BP can pump it out into the Gulf of Mexico. A big V8 that makes beggars turn and run, and sets off car alarms in underground parking lots.

Another novel touch, is when downshifting in manual (paddle shift), it automatically blips the throttle for that ‘pop’ in the exhaust. Sheer hair raising stuff. Let me tell you something. No hydrogen powered-hybrid-battery-eco-friendly sedan will EVER raise the hair on your neck like that…unless of course you happen to touch the plug after charging.

Handling? It’s superb, it has 3 settings for the ESP (ESP ON, ESP SPORT and OFF), however I wouldn’t recommend even giving a glance in the direction of that button. I managed to spin the back out turning into another road at about 50km/h. Thankfully ESP intervened, or I’d be writing about the airbag deployment. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not out of control handling, but you need to learn how to drive this car. Throttle feel and reading the steering feel is incredibly important at every point.

Ride is, well…firm, enough said. The vehicle’s steering is balanced between assisted electronics in the parking lot, and weighted feel through the corners – which makes handling the power of the vehicle manageable throughout the rev range.

Interior, is very well appointed. Every amenity is there, within reach, and some within speaking distance. The model I drove had so many optional extras I can’t really comment on standard features, however a very nice add on was the COMAND Languatronic (speak and it does everything) function. It makes handling all the COMAND system functions a breeze.

It’s an amazing piece of machinery, and even more impressive as it was built as a showcase, marking Mercedes and AMG’s 40th year of collaboration. A match made in motoring heaven if you ask me.

I stick by it, I will drive every V8, V10, V12 and buy big large petrol engined cars right up until we either run out of black stuff, or they ban ‘em from the roads.

This Mercedes stands testament to what visceral connections can be made from a piece of metal to flesh and blood.